A Brief and Literal History of the World

Pull up a chair and sit quietly in the corner. Try not to draw attention to yourself. We all know gods, even the benign ones, react in anger if interrupted when holding court.

Order a drink and relax while you are regaled with this satirical tale.

Just imagine it, Jesus retelling how his father created the world. You have never heard this version before. Listen to his breathtaking story of addiction and redemption as he recounts the lost years of his life. Take this trip with him, and some friends you never knew he had. Witness it all as he recounts it all for the first time, in all of time.

Patrick Elliott ordains you as a priest in the order of the Lord's Confessors. The offering? Exalted stories, denied by any official record, too wonderful to be true. They come encased in a faux-faux-leather tome, but only for a Brief and Literal History of the World.