Mr Satanism: 21 books

Mr. Satanism: "So, would it be wrong to say that I roast these movies?" Editor: "That could be construed as disrespectful, yes." Mr Satanism: "How do you figure?" Editor: "Witch trials were once a very real thing, you know." Mr....

For once the number 13 is lucky, because for his thirteenth film guide, caustic cinema critic Mr. Satanism has reviewed only movies with "13" in the title. It's nothing but a cheap, lazy gimmick, obviously, but what else would you expect from a disgraced former supervillain turned hack author?...

Two classic movie monsters, together again! Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to...

Dragons? Wizards? Hobbits? Supervillain-cum-movie critic Mr. Satanism has had enough of all this magic and wonder, so he's back to take the piss out of fantasy films once and for all. Be they Arabian adventures, Arthurian fantasies, or hopelessly-outdated Dungeons & Dragons clones (what is this,...

A canine-thropic (it's a word now) assault on that detestable Uncle Tom of the animal kingdom, man's so-called best friend (not), the treacherous, mangy, smelly, useless DOG. Vilest of pets, the dog does nothing, produces nothing, embetters nothing, and will turn on you at the drop of a hat and/or...

Quick, name something invisible. If you said something like "Institutional racism!" then don't buy this book, because you're just gonna end up getting ticked off and signing some online petition. If you said "The Invisible Man!" though, or "Those invisible brains from that...

Infamous film critic Mr. Satanism takes a break from the horror beat to deconstruct the critically-neglected but perennially popular sub-sub-genre known as the "Lifetime Original Movie". Why? Because with their paranoid plots, self-loathing misogyny, and heavily-stylized violence, many of...

"I sense an unnatural presence in this place... and I'm going to f--k it!" Infamous internet film critic Mr. Satanism sets his sights on the haunted house film, savaging the Amityville Horror series, Sean S. Cunningham's House series (including the elusive third entry), and dozens more,...

In 66.6 Absurd Movies About the Devil, infamous supervillain-turned-Internet film critic Mr. Satanism sounds off on over 65 movies about the Prince of Darkness, from misguided multi-million dollar sequels to Eurotrash sleaze to home-grown straight-to-DVD disasters, and whether you believe in the Devil...

Rage-fueled supervillain-cum-movie critic Mr. Satanism is back, with an entire book dedicated exclusively to werewolf movies. Why? Because he hates himself, apparently. See, despite being one of monsterdom's elite trifecta (alongside Dracula and the Frankenstein Monster) the werewolf hasn't been served...

Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to begin with. Honestly, have you seen the original Dracula?...

Do the Nightmare on Elm Street movies really occur in the order that they were released? And how does Freddy Krueger's TV show fit in? Or Wes Craven's New Nightmare? What about the music videos? Well fear not, because, like Clarissa, Mr. Satanism is here to explain it all, in his first-ever film guide dedicated exclusively to a single franchise: A Chronology on Elm Street.

If something smells fishy, it's not just Mr. Satanism's ex-wife, because this time the infamous Internet film critic is taking on shark movies, hilariously skewering everything from proto-Jaws potboilers, to Italian jawsploitation "classics", to the current crop of gimmicky CGI garbage....

Mr. Satanism, the movie critic who takes no prisoners, presents fifty(ish) reviews of dragon movies, from the classic to the obscure, so that you can sleep soundly knowing that you'll never have to suffer through a bad dragon movie again.