Breastfeeding is a Bitch

We cheer “Breastfeeding! Yay!” on social media, and around our female friends with feminist pride. But at 3 a.m. you may be cudgeling yourself with, “Oh, dear god, what have we done?” Intellectually, we all know it’s better for our babies, and instinctually, many of us want to do it. But our pregnant daydreaming does little to prepare us for the pain, frustration, self-judgment, and fear that we may experience by choosing to breastfeed. Breastfeeding can be all angels and rainbows. But more often it is an unlatching baby screaming at you, cracked nipples that feel like they’re being held in a vice-grip and licked by a cat, 3 a.m. freak-outs, explosively painful engorged boobs, flu-like mastitis. And then there’s pumping. And that is why, even considering breastfeeding makes you a saint. We tell ourselves that breastfeeding is natural, and therefore we should all be able to do it. While it is natural, it is not easy. This book is for every woman who found the truth of breastfeeding to be somewhat askew from her pre-baby fantasies, and for every woman who does not want to be taken by surprise by the latch – or lack there of. This book is not intended for diagnosis, but for entertainment and commiseration. Includes topics like: Latching onto Latching Screaming at the Breast Nursing Mothers Do it in Groups The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Pumping Woman vs the Cover And Then There Were Teeth The Bottle Battle Mastitis, Engorgement and Other Pains in the Boob