Dillard Mibble Goes To France

Though Dillard refers to himself as Man of Mystery, Man of the World, those who know him would more likely call him Mr. Oblivious. Actually, his wife employs the phrase “inferior yet lovable life form.” Traveling with this loving yet frighteningly perceptive wife, Dillard literally stumbles into a dangerous web of industrial espionage. Of course he is oblivious to this danger and he worries instead about other things.
He worries about how to deal with the French people he meets. For example, he bravely resists--well, his resistance is an off and on thing--but he mostly resists the temptations of his hostess, she of the well-filled blouse and smoldering eyes. This resistance takes up much of his time but he also must warily track the movements of the ten-year old boy that he suspects is a collector of body parts.
He struggles to avoid various elements of the animal kingdom the French consider food, including slithering eels, winking octopi, the proffered Orange Vegetative Matter, and the bothersome, over-sized duck breast that he finally, triumphantly hurls onto a golf course.
Even the waters of France present Dillard with challenges. He topples into the Mediterranean Sea and a French river, thrashes about in a French marsh, and is discovered by an excessively polite, small-headed teenager while performing a late-night shimmy in the wrong French pool.
All the while Dillard unknowingly carries a few pieces of plastic that attract the nefarious attentions of bumbling but dangerous characters. Such are the trials of the ingenuous American traveling in this foreign land.