From The Ashes Of Childhood Trauma To Warrior

The world tells you that it's one big cubicle and that there is a box for you, for people like us, survivors of abuse that you must fit into, if you don't want to be chewed up and ruthlessly spat out.

These people are psychologists, courts, welfare officials, the law, and most importantly, people you are closest to. They claim to know how you must act, how you must feel and how you are supposed to cope after a traumatic even, or years of trauma at the hands of your abuser.

And when you don't feel what they assume you do, you feel like the failure. It's okay to stand up, deal with it your way, and go on to make the rest of your life, the very best of your life.

You don't have to linger in it. You don't have to have the rest of your life dictated to living with what happened to you. You do not have to carry the scars around with you, for the rest of your life.

The world doesn't understand that. They learn from text books and adopt a kind of a uniformity for how to counsel a survivor, because they assume they know your state of mind and what you went through.

They follow guidelines, but they aren't flexible in the way of each story is different, and each survivor is different and deals with their story differently.

They place rules on how you should feel and what you should do, and how you can simply attempt to survive normally. They don't really know how you feel or what you've been through. They can't even begin to imagine what you've had to endure.

They follow the rules of their textbooks and you follow the idea that you're failing because your plan to survive might not be theirs; your plan is not in their books or behind their degrees and in the end, you might be left feeling worse than you did when your journey to healing began.

But, your plan got you to where you are now! It has brought you through the very worst of times, and it's pulled you out of what would probably have been the darkest times of your life. Your plan hasn't failed you yet, don't change something that's already brought you this far.

They tell you that their way is just safer for you, and that there is no room for finding your own path in after your traumatic event. They want you to fit into the exact dimensions or designs of how they think you should act, feel, behave and integrate into society afterwards.

So, you end up spending your entire life suppressing the fact that you just cannot fit into any sort of box. And then ... as you begin to convince yourself that something might be wide off the mark with you, you begin changing and adapting bit by bit so that you can fit in, because you must, just like everyone else.

And, you feel worse. Just like every other person you meet, you realize how desperate they too are, to fit into a box that was once given to them. When we finally realize that we just cannot fit in properly, we surrender and make new boxes for ourselves, in the hopes that nobody knows, and nobody sees.