Guilty Pleasures: The Food & Fornication Fables

Gorgeous, narcissistic, self-absorbed Lance Packhard is a sex therapist specializing in Awakenings, helping anorgasmic women find sexual fulfillment

Lance’s spare time is dedicated to the cult of his body-beautiful and writing a how-not-to book titled “Sexual Secrets of a Sexual Surrogate”. His personal life consists of Sunday tea with his grandmother, and a monthly night-out with his best-friend, George. Oh, and no sex, none whatsoever…

When a ruthless mother offers him an enormous sum to seduce and impregnate her 36 year old daughter, Millicent Deafly, a debt-ridden Lance hesitantly agrees.

However, Millicent is not into sex, and definitely not into him. She’s chosen the other end of the sensuality spectrum and is heavily into food. She is bright, bouncy and joyous, uninhibitedly plump and natural and completely dedicated to her palate. The only way Lance will get her attention is if he dabs garlic oil on his nipples...

Determined to get close to her, Lance creates an alter-ego - sweetly shy Wilfred Pecklise - and takes a job at her Dinner Club, Guilty Pleasures.

Guilty Pleasures caters to the flamboyant and the eccentric: super-models pigging out, trash-metal rock stars with penis-piercings and their loving grannies, the survivors of dead billionaires, and many more oddities…

Lance finds himself immersed in a sensuous world of scents, tastes, and color, and befriended by Serge Moreno - a homosexual black dwarf who was once a prostitute in Istanbul, a fluffer in skin-flicks in Vegas, and is now a celebrity Chef in London…

Ironically, Lance’s is not only failing to seduce Millie, but falling madly in love with her.
Balancing the two lives: his and Wilfred’s, his alter ego's; becomes next to impossible when his geeky best-friend George suddenly ups and marries a sophisticated French author, and decides to hold the reception at Guilty Pleasures…