Heaven's Cry

The hardest thing in the world is being a teenager. It’s harder when your father is the pastor of a major church and your mother is the first lady of that church. It’s detrimental to your health when, on top of all that, you’re struggling with your sexuality and might have a crush on someone that’s the same sex as you. 

To say that I’m confused would be an understatement. I want to come out of the closet, but I’m not even sure if I’m in the closet. I can’t explore the possibilities and find out for sure because, according to the Bible that my parents live by, that would be a sin. I can’t resist exploring the possibilities because it’s all I think about. All day. Every day. I’m lost. I’m scared. And God knows I’m so confused.

If my feelings and desires are ever revealed, ever exposed, not only would I look bad in the eyes of the world, in the eyes of a church that despises homosexuality, but I could destroy my father’s position as pastor and my mother’s impeccable reputation. Worse than that, I could destroy the very foundation of my family.

And maybe even destroy my life.

I’m Heaven. And this is my cry.