Heaven’s Brides

Little Miss Muff’s Controversial Novel

Television MegaChurch Pastor Max Johnson has a big problem with the little lady. Most husbands would hire a private investigator and a top divorce attorney. Max would lose his sponsors. The Good Conscience Independent Bible Church is a business, so the IRS can’t tell him what to preach. The sponsors, that’s another story. Firebrand Steakhouse and Patriot Ammo are two of the biggest chains in the nation. Their customers would boycott over the pastor encouraging his wife’s ongoing affair with a woman. Max is on his own for this one, spying on his wife in this dark, crowded club. Dressed as a heavy metal guitarist in a long blonde wig, he doesn’t look like a preacher.

Waking up, Max remembers seeing lightning all over the club walls, then seeing Jesus. Somebody spiked his drink with ecstasy, and he died for fourteen minutes. It seemed like an eternity, as he got his assignment from the Lord. Max put up a big rainbow sign on the church and signed new gay friendly sponsors. He’s scheduled to preach the ‘Sermon Heard Round the World’. Since the death threats, ‘Deadly Dykes’ have provided armed protection. They’re the bikers with that slogan: ‘Mutilate this, bitch’.

It’s show time. “This two-hour special is brought to you by the TransGender Alliance. If you’re tired of pretending, give them a call. And now, let’s welcome Pastor Max.”

“Dearly Beloved, much of what we thought we knew, was not from God’s word.”