Hell's Half Mile

River Runners' Tales of Hilarity and Misadventure

“A high-water mark in river running humor from the guides and the misguided.” —Tim Cahill, author of Pass the Butterworms and Pecked to Death by Ducks

“Full of great tales, funny stories, and river lore, it will make some river runners eager to get back into the boats—and some wishing they had stayed home.” —Peter Stark, author of Last Breath and Driving to Greenland

“Just when you thought whitewater mayhem was no laughing matter, Michael Engelhard serves up Hell’s Half Mile, a potpourri of ticklish adventures and misadventures.”
—Michael P. Ghiglieri, author of Canyon, Over the Edge, and First Through Grand Canyon

“Represents the best in humorous outdoors writing and the lowest in guide culture.” —John Weisheit, co-founder of Colorado River Guides and Conservation Director of Living Rivers

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River wisdom postulates that there are two kinds of boaters: Those who have flipped and those who will. Most of the contributors to this anthology fall into the former category.

You will find stories of rafters, canoeists, kayakers, and dory men. You will meet two brave youths swimming the entire Grand Canyon, a bear hitching a ride in a boat, naked canoeists, egg-slinging river guides, a floating turkey, and rangers assassinating a goat. You will witness epic wrecks, strange games and vehicles, and tourists getting lost on the river.

They are all here: The misfits and misanthropes, the dreamers and daredevils, weekend warriors and professional guides, nataphobes and bibliophiles, “established voices” and undiscovered gems. Hell’s Half Mile is likely to become a classic in the genre of humorous adventure writing.

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Michael Engelhard works as an outdoors instructor and river guide on the Colorado Plateau. He is the author of an essay collection, Where the Rain Children Sleep, and has contributed to a number of magazines. His most recent project is a book of stories about the western horse.