Jokes For All Occasions (Mobi Classics)

Fiction & Literature, Classics, Humorous
Cover of the book Jokes For All Occasions (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode, MobileReference
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: Edward J. Clode ISBN: 9781605012803
Publisher: MobileReference Publication: January 1, 2010
Imprint: MobileReference Language: English
Author: Edward J. Clode
ISBN: 9781605012803
Publisher: MobileReference
Publication: January 1, 2010
Imprint: MobileReference
Language: English
Over one thousand jokes collected and organized by topic by by Edward J. Clode and hyperlinked by MobileReference for maximum loughter. Here are a few examples:AbsentmindednessThe man of the house finally took all the disabled umbrellas to the repairer's. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly laid hold of the umbrella belonging to a woman beside him, for he was in the habit of carrying one. The woman cried "Stop thief!" rescued her umbrella and covered the man with Shame and Confusion. That same day, he stopped at the repairer's, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly restored. As he entered a street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold glaring at him the lady of his morning adventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn:"Huh! Had a good day, didn't you!"* * *The absentminded inventor perfected a parachute device. He was taken up in a balloon to make a test of the apparatus. Arrived at a height of a thousand feet, he climbed over the edge of the basket, and dropped out. He had fallen two hundred yards when he remarked to himself, in a tone of deep regret:"Dear me! I've gone and forgotten my umbrella."* * *The professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at him inquiringly:"Um ah is Professor Johnson at home?" he asked, naming himself."No, sir," the maid replied, "but he is expected any moment now."The professor turned away, the girl closed the door. Then the poor man sat down on the steps to wait for himself.* * *The clergyman, absorbed in thinking out a sermon, rounded a turn in the path and bumped into a cow. He swept off his hat with a flourish, exclaiming:"I beg your pardon, madam."Then he observed his error, and was greatly chagrined. Soon, however, again engaged with thoughts of the sermon, he collided with a lady at another bend of the path."Get out of the way, you brute!" he said.* * *The most absent-minded of clergymen was a Methodist minister who served several churches each Sunday, riding from one to another on horseback. One Sunday morning he went to the stable while still meditating on his sermon and attempted to saddle the horse. After a long period of toil, he aroused to the fact that he had put the saddle on himself, and had spent a full half hour in vain efforts to climb on his own back.
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Over one thousand jokes collected and organized by topic by by Edward J. Clode and hyperlinked by MobileReference for maximum loughter. Here are a few examples:AbsentmindednessThe man of the house finally took all the disabled umbrellas to the repairer's. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly laid hold of the umbrella belonging to a woman beside him, for he was in the habit of carrying one. The woman cried "Stop thief!" rescued her umbrella and covered the man with Shame and Confusion. That same day, he stopped at the repairer's, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly restored. As he entered a street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold glaring at him the lady of his morning adventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn:"Huh! Had a good day, didn't you!"* * *The absentminded inventor perfected a parachute device. He was taken up in a balloon to make a test of the apparatus. Arrived at a height of a thousand feet, he climbed over the edge of the basket, and dropped out. He had fallen two hundred yards when he remarked to himself, in a tone of deep regret:"Dear me! I've gone and forgotten my umbrella."* * *The professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at him inquiringly:"Um ah is Professor Johnson at home?" he asked, naming himself."No, sir," the maid replied, "but he is expected any moment now."The professor turned away, the girl closed the door. Then the poor man sat down on the steps to wait for himself.* * *The clergyman, absorbed in thinking out a sermon, rounded a turn in the path and bumped into a cow. He swept off his hat with a flourish, exclaiming:"I beg your pardon, madam."Then he observed his error, and was greatly chagrined. Soon, however, again engaged with thoughts of the sermon, he collided with a lady at another bend of the path."Get out of the way, you brute!" he said.* * *The most absent-minded of clergymen was a Methodist minister who served several churches each Sunday, riding from one to another on horseback. One Sunday morning he went to the stable while still meditating on his sermon and attempted to saddle the horse. After a long period of toil, he aroused to the fact that he had put the saddle on himself, and had spent a full half hour in vain efforts to climb on his own back.

More books from MobileReference

Cover of the book Best Russian Short Stories: 19 Stories By Anton Chekhov, Alexander Pushkin, Leo Tolstoy, Nikolai Gogol, Ivan Turgenev, Aleksandr Kuprin, Mikhail Saltykov-Shchedrin, Vladimir Korlenko, Maxim Gorky, Sologub, Potapenko (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Word Morph Volume 1: Transform The Starting Word One Letter At A Time Until You Spell The Ending Word (Mobi Games) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Dear Brutus (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book King Solomon's Mines And Other Adventures: 4 Novels (Allan Quatermain The Sequel To King Solomon's Mines, Nada The Lily And Allan's Wife) (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Works Of P. G. Wodehouse: My Man Jeeves, Right Ho, Jeeves, The Man With Two Left Feet, A Damsel In Distress, Not George Washington, Mike, Poems, Stories & Articles (Mobi Collected Works) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Works Of Elizabeth Von Arnim: Elizabeth And Her German Garden, The Solitary Summer, The Princess Priscilla's Fortnight, Christine, Christopher And Columbus And The Enchanted April (Mobi Collected Works) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Siena Sights: a travel guide to the top 20 attractions in Siena, Tuscany, Italy (Mobi Sights) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Works Of Henry James: Including The Portrait Of A Lady, The Turn Of The Screw, The Ambassadors, The Bostonians, The Europeans, The Wings Of The Dove & More (Mobi Collected Works) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Mormon Church's (Lds) Sacred Texts: The Book Of Mormon, The Doctrine And Covenants And The Pearl Of Great Price (Mobi Spiritual) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Travel Malta by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Saint Lucia Sights: a travel guide to the main attractions in Saint Lucia, Caribbean (St. Lucia) (Mobi Sights) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book The Forsyte Saga (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book The Lady Of The Lake (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Little Dorrit (Mobi Classics) by Edward J. Clode
Cover of the book Barcelona Sights: a travel guide to the top 50 attractions in Barcelona, Spain by Edward J. Clode
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy