Mad Restaurant and Inter-reality Stories

i, a nobody was recruited and became a sex-slave to sheila, one of the most powerful and notorious women that has ever lived. through great sacrifice and deceit, i managed to escape her evil clutches. i learned how to jump dimensions and plied the highways of the multiverse trying to keep sheila from finding me and killing slowly. to jump dimensions, a jumper has to eat whatever he can find because if he did not have enough calories, the jump used parts of his body for the necessary energy. So it was imperative to find a restaurant as soon as i jumped into a new world.

i was recaptured, tortured and imprisoned but found in sheila's dungeons my one true love. i managed to escape again and in my desperate flight, ended up in hell and incurred the wrath of satan. the penalty was of course, slow torture, then death. i managed to make a deal with satan to deliver sheila to him as she had reneged on a deal she had made to sell her soul to him. i was now forced to find sheila instead of avoiding her. i came up with a plan with the help of the light people, who were the fourth dimensional creatures that made inter-dimensional jumping possible. i expected the plan to fail and for me to die but i had no choice.
you may find my account unbelievable and weird...or not, depending on which dimension you are reading this from. in any case this is what happened.