New Moan: The First Book in The Twishite Saga: A Parody

Fiction & Literature, Movie & Television Tie-Ins, Nonfiction, Entertainment, Humour & Comedy, General Humour, Romance
Cover of the book New Moan: The First Book in The Twishite Saga: A Parody by Stephfordy Mayo, Michael O'Mara
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: Stephfordy Mayo ISBN: 9781843174967
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Publication: July 1, 2010
Imprint: Michael O'Mara Language: English
Author: Stephfordy Mayo
ISBN: 9781843174967
Publisher: Michael O'Mara
Publication: July 1, 2010
Imprint: Michael O'Mara
Language: English

Plenty of overwrought prose and melodramatic angst mark this fang-sharp parody of number-one New York Times–bestseller New Moon

 

"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."

 

Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids’ books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she’s distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy-an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he-just maybe-be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Plenty of overwrought prose and melodramatic angst mark this fang-sharp parody of number-one New York Times–bestseller New Moon

 

"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."

 

Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty and needs to grow up and get a life. Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids’ books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she’s distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy-an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he-just maybe-be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.

More books from Michael O'Mara

Cover of the book The Adventures of the Crumpsall Kid by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Bad Teacher by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Horses, Heifers and Hairy Pigs by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Vegetable Growing by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Rosie's War by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Philosophy for Busy People by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book I Should Know That: Great Britain by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book The Mysteries of History by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book The Wicked Wit of England by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Breaking Yawn: The Second Book in the Twishite Saga by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Latte or Cappuccino? by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Make Do and Mend by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book The Girls' Miscellany by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book I Wish I Knew That by Stephfordy Mayo
Cover of the book Dreadfully Deadly History by Stephfordy Mayo
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy