Nightlife in the House of the Dead

Notes from the Second Floor

It is not easy living among the dead. Before they go in the ground, they spend some time in a funeral parlor and use the occasion to get you, if you are the Night Man, the guy who runs the place from 5:00 P.M. to 7:00 A.M. When they come at you, they are always smiling, unless their face was botched by the person who makes a living making them smile. They rarely move, while youre watching. They hide their actions to fool the living, but not me. I was always on my guard. What a plush job, I thought, when I signed up. 1. Answer the phone, then call the boss to report who died and where. (But eventually, a call comes from a hysterical woman: My husband just hung himself in the shower and youre thinking, How did he do it? Was he a midget?) 2. If there are any bodies downstairs, take the bereaved to them. (But, eventually, a daughter hugs her mother for the last time, and the coffin hits the floor and Mom rolls out, and you call the boss and say, real seriously, Theres a problem in the Chapel) You can handle thesebut not the dead when they come at you in a thousand ways