| Author: | John Witherden | ISBN: | 9780956141057 |
| Publisher: | Different Books Publishing | Publication: | September 12, 2012 |
| Imprint: | Language: | English |
| Author: | John Witherden |
| ISBN: | 9780956141057 |
| Publisher: | Different Books Publishing |
| Publication: | September 12, 2012 |
| Imprint: | |
| Language: | English |
Hell has its problems as well you know; especially the British division known as The Hades Corporation (UK) Plc., who according to Satan’s bean counters, are not supplying enough souls. So they sent a strongly worded memo to the divisional managing director Nicholas Beelzebub and his assistant Humphrey P Znghhz giving them new soul intake targets.
The managing director BigBand his assistant Humphrey had a bit of think and came up with a cunning strategy to turn whole towns over to evil so that they could batch harvest souls more efficiently and to begin with they chose Haywards Heath in Sussex to try their idea out.
Moreover to ensure that this plan could be replicated throughout the UK they chose an untalented Devil, Oliver Gsyyvhng-Smythe to run this new project for them. But just in case he should enjoy it too much they sent his wife Glenda with him and gave him two golem teenagers Penelope and Gregory to accompany him on his new mission.
But even omnipotent beings can sometimes make mistakes and was it possible that BigB and Humphrey had underestimated Oliver’s ineptitude?
It was fun to begin with; Oliver became a Traffic Warden upsetting all the local drivers while Glenda worked with a bank evicting families from their homes. But it soon had to end when the Corporation found out that Glenda and Oliver had done nothing towards their mission.
They set up The Gossip Shop, a legal method of blackmailing the good citizens of Haywards Heath but it wasn’t easy and Glenda and Oliver had to deal with suburban witches who use an electric soup tureen instead of a cauldron, cantankerous pensioners with a streak of violence on their mobility scooters, traitorous teenagers, Queen Arthur (don’t ask!) and her leprechaun ending with a warm reception for Oliver and Glenda at a bonfire celebration.
Hell has its problems as well you know; especially the British division known as The Hades Corporation (UK) Plc., who according to Satan’s bean counters, are not supplying enough souls. So they sent a strongly worded memo to the divisional managing director Nicholas Beelzebub and his assistant Humphrey P Znghhz giving them new soul intake targets.
The managing director BigBand his assistant Humphrey had a bit of think and came up with a cunning strategy to turn whole towns over to evil so that they could batch harvest souls more efficiently and to begin with they chose Haywards Heath in Sussex to try their idea out.
Moreover to ensure that this plan could be replicated throughout the UK they chose an untalented Devil, Oliver Gsyyvhng-Smythe to run this new project for them. But just in case he should enjoy it too much they sent his wife Glenda with him and gave him two golem teenagers Penelope and Gregory to accompany him on his new mission.
But even omnipotent beings can sometimes make mistakes and was it possible that BigB and Humphrey had underestimated Oliver’s ineptitude?
It was fun to begin with; Oliver became a Traffic Warden upsetting all the local drivers while Glenda worked with a bank evicting families from their homes. But it soon had to end when the Corporation found out that Glenda and Oliver had done nothing towards their mission.
They set up The Gossip Shop, a legal method of blackmailing the good citizens of Haywards Heath but it wasn’t easy and Glenda and Oliver had to deal with suburban witches who use an electric soup tureen instead of a cauldron, cantankerous pensioners with a streak of violence on their mobility scooters, traitorous teenagers, Queen Arthur (don’t ask!) and her leprechaun ending with a warm reception for Oliver and Glenda at a bonfire celebration.
