The Abuse of Forgiveness: Manipulation and Harm in the Name of Emotional Healing

“You should forgive,” survivors of abuse and wrongdoing are constantly told. “Otherwise you’ll live with angry, bitter hearts for the rest of your lives.”

In this eye-opening book about forgiveness and emotional trauma, Umm Zakiyyah, internationally acclaimed author of Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You, shares the painful lessons she learned about forced forgiveness during her own healing journey. As she sought answers to how to deal with depression, suicidality, and emotional triggers, she was consistently told that forgiveness was the only path to healing. Eventually, the topic of forgiveness itself incited anxiety and emotional triggers. This painful experience inspired a spiritual journey that revealed to her the difference between true forgiveness and forced forgiveness. She also learned that pushing forgiveness as the price of emotional healing can be a form of manipulation, harm, and abuse itself.