The Chiang Kai-shek Gold Bond Scam: Get McClafferty

A TONIC FOR DESPERATE READERS IN DESPERATE TIMES. These unexpurgated tales of Bones-the-Dog McClafferty, mastermind behind the Chiang Kai-shek Gold Bond Scam, reveal how he also got involved in a bunch of other dumb stuff during his miserable life. As he tried to stay one step ahead of the law. In company of his faithful mutt Rupert, pursued by his Probation Officer and a host of misfits and crazies washed up by troubled times in the Scottish Badlands. Scrupulously researched, they include the lowdown on how Fuck Sake Harry topped the Kinky Kash twins, self-appointed traffic warden, bum and vagrant Hughie the Bear got elected mayor of Sunny Groodge and McClafferty got caught up in the nappy rage. Regressed to babyhood, diapers and dummy tits. Got his poor old mom feeding him baby food. In his cot. His chequered career, pieced together from horse’s mouth revelations and eye-witness accounts, reveal new aspects to the man. Driving force behind the nationwide Sunny Dog Haircut and Shampoo Parlours, he also did a stint as a private eye in the Blue Diamond affair involving psycho Horseshoe McCann and the sleezy Duke of Magoiyle. Victoria Teague, who hired him for the job, was nearly his undoing. Goggle-eyed, till he discovered she was into S&M and specialized in horsewhipping clients with barbed wire in the dungeons under the mayor’s office. But it was not all bad. He also helped locate Mrs. McGreevy’s runaway parrot, got Lobey Dosser, the legendary dopey sheriff of Sunny Groodge, rehabilitated historically. After his tomb (and his two legged-horse Fidelo) was unearthed deep under the ground. A tragedy that the Great Sunburst blew out the energy grid. He was destined for greatness. No conclusive evidence has been uncovered by the author of Rupert’s alleged psychic powers. Ditto his gift of the second sight. So far.To date.