The Heart of Dominance

This book is a how-to guide to the concepts and skills at the heart of consensual dominance. If you are new to dominance, still figuring out just what it’s all about or what you want it to mean to you, then this book will provide you with a solid foundation from which to start. If you already practice dominance and are interested in improving your ability to create deep and lasting power dynamics then you’ll find many advanced concepts and concrete techniques to integrate into your own personal style.

What consensual dominance means here is any kind of intentional, mutually desired, mutually fulfilling exercise of power and control between partners. There are a lot of different kinds of connections that fit that broad definition, and the fundamental principles that this book explores can be applied to any of them. So it should be just as valuable whether you practice dominance in occasional intense evenings within an otherwise egalitarian relationship, in a full-time power exchange relationship, in long distance or online relationships, in pick-up play with strangers at BDSM clubs, or anywhere else.

This book also doesn’t assume that you fit any stereotype about what a person who dominates should look or act like. It looks at dominance as a practice -- as something that any person can learn to do, rather than something that some people are -- and it is meant for anyone with a desire to learn to practice dominance well. It is written to be accessible to absolute beginners, as well as to switches and primals and tops and mommies and daddies and bigs and masters and trainers and Goreans and heads-of-house and owners and label-defying powerfuckers. (And don’t worry if you have no idea what any of those labels means – dominance has nothing to do with labels.)

If you have an interest in the bedrock principles of inspiring, deepening, maintaining and enjoying control over a person who dearly, desperately wants you to control them, then this book is for you.

~***~

"Absolutely the best, most grounded book I’ve read on the topic of consensual dominance and submission. If I’d had this book a quarter century ago, it would have saved me (and my partners!) untold frustration. Other books teach you how to tie a clove hitch or where to hit with a paddle, but “Heart of Dominance” gets to the core of consensual power imbalance. From the most nurturing of ageplay scenarios to the harshest of owner/property lifestyles, it explains the process by which the desires of two people, each with their own histories, needs and limits, can be transformed into the stuff of steamy and seamless erotic power play.”
- Janet W. Hardy, author and educator

"The world of erotic power dynamic play, usually referred to as dominance and submission, is often mired in lots of misguided and ego-based advice. Not this book. Here you have a balanced, grounded and realistic examination of the topic. No pontificating dictates. No directives from some mythological past. Instead, the author beautifully rolls out a clear explanation of what such play is and is not and how to make it hot, fun and safe. If you’re a seasoned player in this realm of kink, this book will likely further inspire your explorations. If you’re a newcomer interested in this topic, this would undoubtedly be one of the first books I suggest you read."
- Race Bannon, writer, speaker and activist

"Wow! I just learned a lot reading “The Heart of Dominance.” This is way more than a manual! The depth of information Mr. Fulmen offers to those interested in this path of interpersonal power will serve D/s players all the way from scene explorations, to 24/7 consensual lifestyle. I love his down to earth compassionate focus, explanations and practical advice. From forging and maintaining connection, attention to desire, safety, competence, transparency and the deep insights he shares clearly show his respect and understanding of D/s dynamics."
- Cleo Dubois, BDSM educator and ritualist