A Lovely Day For Vigorous Anal Penetration

Jonathan and Tabitha Pemberton are enjoying a spot of tea on a lovely, spring morning, when out of nowhere, Tabitha has an idea for something new they can try. What if, rather than sewing and reading the paper like a couple of old fuddy-duddies, they instead engaged in a round of hard, anal sex? After some convincing, Jonathan comes around and the two of them have a rollicking good time. Great fun is had by both parties.

You will have a good time too if you give this story a go. The Pembertons guarantee it! For best results, try reading this alone in the dark. Make a game of it and try to finish at the same time as the Pembertons. If you’re quite daring, try reading it with a partner while reenacting the events on the page. The possibilities are endless!

EXCERPT:

“Well,” said Tabitha, “it’s just that it’s such a lovely day, and we’re spending it in a rather boring manner.”

“I don’t know about all that,” said Jonathan. “I’m finding our morning activities almost too exciting. I mean, you brought out the chocolate biscuits for goodness sake. That’s really more of a weekend thing. Plus, I’ve just been enthralled by the most interesting article on moustaches. I really don’t know how much more excitement I could handle.”

“Oh, Jonathan, don’t be absurd. We’re in the prime of our lives and we’re whiling away the hours sitting on the porch like a couple of old coots.”

“Well, my lovely wife, exactly what frivolities did you have in mind to liven up our day?”

“Ah, now that’s what I was talking about,” said Tabitha. “My idea.”

“Yes, yes,” said Jonathan, peering at his wife impatiently over the rims of his spectacles. “Get on with it. What is your idea?”

“Well,” said Tabitha, “I was just sitting here, rocking back and forth and working on my sewing when I thought to myself, wouldn’t it just be the icing on the cake on such a lovely day if you were to vigorously hump me like a wild beast."

“Oh my,” said Jonathan, taken aback. Then, the look on his face turned to confusion and he said, “Wait a moment. Do you mean that I should be humping you the way that a wild beast would hump you, or that I should be humping you the way that I would hump a wild beast, were I so inclined?”

“Why, the former of course. Honestly, Jonathan.”

“Do you often imagine what it would be like to be humped by a wild beast?”

“Jonathan, you are missing the point entirely. I would like you to give me a jolly good f***ing.”

“What, today?”

“Yes, Jonathan. Today.”

“On a Tuesday?”

“Yes. Now, in fact.”

“At eleven thirty in the morning?”

“Well, I don’t see what the time has to do with it. Why can’t a couple who is in love pound meat any time they want? Come now, wouldn’t you like to have a bit of horizontal refreshment?”

Jonathan stopped and gave this question serious consideration. Did he? Did he want to go wick-dipping just now? But then, why not? What was to stop them? He always took great joy in the carnal delights between his wife’s thighs. Why should it be kept only for Saturday evenings?

“Do you know, Tabby, I think you’re onto something. Why shouldn’t we go inside and have a shag right now?”

“I knew you’d come around. Right then, let’s get to it.”

Jonathan and Tabitha quickly set aside their things, deciding they were sufficiently aroused that they should begin immediately and that they would clean up the dishes later. Once inside, they headed straight upstairs to their bedroom and began to undress.