The Yoga of Divorce

“So far lawyers are the only ones getting any money.” “There’s no middle ground. We only talk through lawyers.” “I open my mouth and we end up screaming at each other.” Sound familiar? What if there was a way to divorce with a minimum of hostility, time, and expense? It is attainable, even if you are working towards these goals without the cooperation of your spouse. The Yoga of Divorce advocates that we shift our reactions and embrace the notion of cooperative opposition, the idea that the same non-adversarial process that works on the yoga mat can be used at the negotiation table. The key to The Yoga of Divorce’s strategy is to 'park ego at the door'. If we stop trying to 'win' but instead seek a solution that is fair to both sides, we make much smoother progress. The mindful practice of cooperative opposition can simultaneously resolve physical stress and social conflict by intentionally balancing opposite forces. It might seem simple, but it takes conscious effort. We urgently need to make calm decisions at those times when being calm is most difficult—such as in the midst of emotional crisis. When stakes are highest we feel most triggered to attack. For the sake of our children, our wealth, and our personal well-being, we need to work past negative emotions and put ego in its place. Only then will we find lasting peace and amicable resolutions.